When you think of pleasure toys, chances are you think of the areas of the body that we most commonly associate with sex: the vagina, vulva, clitoris, and penis, perhaps the testicles and anus as well.
Yet the human body is packed with erogenous zones, many of which are under-explored. Perhaps you never knew they were there, never knew they could be sexy, or are nervous about exploring them for some reason.
One such area is the perineum.
What is the perineum and who has one?
The perineum is a thin layer of skin between the genitals and the anus, and —despite the common misconception that they are only present for people assigned male at birth (AMAB)— everyone has one. For people with a vulva it sits between the vaginal opening and the anus, and for people with a penis it is located between the testicles and the anus.
Fun fact: the perineum is sometimes colloquially called the ‘gooch’ or the ‘taint’.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Your perineum forms a foundation that helps support your pelvic floor muscles, which hold organs like your bladder, colon and reproductive organs in place.”
Inside the body, the perineum consists of structures that help with various bodily functions such as having sex and going to the bathroom.
For people who were assigned female at birth (AFAB), it also plays an important role in childbirth.
The perineum can also play a crucial role in sexual pleasure. It is an erogenous zone, which means that it can produce sexual pleasure when touched. Dr Carlton Thomas, who runs the popular @doctorcarlton Instagram channel and co-hosts the Butt Honestly podcast, explains:
“The perineum is INCREDIBLY rich in nerve fibers that deliver incredible sensation as a major erogenous zone. It is an often ignored and underutilized source of intense pleasure!”
Lyndsey Murray MS, LPC-S, CST, the owner of and lead therapist at Relationship Matters Therapy, adds “Your perineum is an erogenous zone that contains multiple nerve endings; this can very easily result in sexual pleasure and arousal. I think many people don’t consider this part of the body to be a sexual part, but it definitely is!”
This part of the body can be particularly pleasurable for people assigned male at birth.
“With deeper massage, you can also stimulate the prostate, a pleasure packed gland located inside the body,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app Taimi.
Dr Carol Queen, in-house sexologist at leading sex toy retailer Good Vibes, adds:
“You’ll notice that [many perineal toys] are variants on anal plugs. Anyone (who’d enjoy anal insertion) could use these too, but frequently these are designed particularly with prostate stimulation in mind. The perineum and the prostate are not the same thing, but stimulating both at once might be especially pleasurable.
And sometimes people who don’t choose to explore anal insertion for prostate play will get a milder version of that type of pleasure with perineum-only play. Perineal stimulation is not likely to compare in intensity to direct prostate stimulation.”
However, perineum pleasure can be enjoyed by anyone regardless of gender, assigned sex, or genitals. Some people say they enjoy stimulating their perineum along with their genitals or other erogenous zones, while others enjoy it as an activity in and of itself.
Some people are even able to reach orgasm solely through massage of the perineum! This is known as a perineum orgasm. Not everyone can or will have this experience, but perineum stimulation can be incredibly pleasurable either way.
What are some of the ways you can stimulate the perineum?
Many people are completely unaware of the pleasurable potential of their perineum or how to stimulate it effectively.
Ultimately, as with anything in the wide world of sex, the only “correct” way to do it is the way that feels fun and pleasurable to you. But with that said, in this section I will offer a few suggestions for things you might want to try out.
Apply pressure
Pressure against the perineum can feel amazing, and is one way to stimulate the prostate (if you have one) from the outside. Begin with gentle pressure and gradually increase until you find what feels best for you or your partner.
Massage
Perineum massage is often recommended to pregnant people in preparation for childbirth, as it can reduce the likelihood or severity of tearing. However, it can also be a great way to give yourself or your partner sexual pleasure. Gradually apply pressure and use your fingers and thumbs to make circular motions over and around the perineal area. A lubricant or genital-safe massage oil can enhance the sensation, too.
Stroke or tickle
Light touches such as stroking and tickling can also feel incredible due to the perineum’s density of nerve endings.
Oral sex
If you’re performing oral sex on a partner, adding some oral stimulation of their perineum can heighten the pleasure to a whole new level. Ask them to shower or wash beforehand to keep things hygienic, or use a barrier such as a dental dam.
Experiment with positions
Whether you are masturbating or having partnered sex, different positions can allow you to stimulate the perineum in different ways. For example, experts at the UK’s leading sex toy retailer Lovehoney recommends an all-fours position to “open up the anus and pelvic area, [making] it easier to access them and deliver simultaneous internal and external stimulation.”
What types of perineum sex toys are there?
The Svakom Benedict is a unique sex toy specifically for perineum pleasure for people who have a penis. Its stretchy double rings sit around the penis, and the vibrating arm rests against the perineum. If you want to stimulate your perineum during sex or masturbation while keeping your or your partner’s hands free to do other things, this toy is a great choice.
Many anal toys and penis toys also have perineum stimulators built into them. The MysteryVibe Tenuto and We-Vibe Verge, for example, are both cock rings with built-in perineum stimulators that are designed to be worn during penetrative sex. They are also both app-compatible, allowing you to control your pleasure hands-free… or even hand over control to your partner from anywhere.
The Lelo Loki Wave is an anal toy that uses a “come hither” motion to stimulate the prostate and other internal erogenous zones. It looks similar to a rabbit vibrator, with its smaller external arm and second motor designed for perineum stimulation. And the Lovense Edge / Edge 2 is a dual stimulation prostate and perineum massager.
Compared to toys designed for other erogenous zones such as the clitoris, G-spot, or penis, there are relatively few styles of sex toys specifically designed to stimulate the perineum. However, this does not mean you are short of options.
Any kind of vibrator can be a great way to stimulate the perineum. Smaller vibrators such as bullets or pebble style vibrators are a great place to start. Engle recommends a wand vibrator due to the deep and rumbly sensations these toys can provide.
Tongue toys designed to mimic cunnilingus can also be extremely pleasurable in this area.
Lisa Finn, sex educator at toy retailer Babeland, shared one of her top recommendations: “The VIM Wand by Fun Factory is a great option for a classic wand shape, with a light-weight body and flexible neck that’s great for solo play when you need a little extra reach,” she says.
She also recommends the Magic Wand Rechargeable, “a classic wand vibrator that’s an incredibly versatile tool – great for any external stimulation – and has a broad silicone head that can cover a lot of surface area to really envelop the perineum with sensation.”
How do you choose the right perineum sex toy?
If you already own sex toys, you can simply start out by exploring perineum pleasure with those you already have. Try pressing a vibrator to your perineum and experiment with different speeds, patterns, and intensities to work out what kinds of stimulation work for you.
If you are looking to buy a toy, consider what kinds of stimulation you already enjoy and how you might like to incorporate perineum pleasure. You might decide that a penis toy or an anal toy with a built in perineum stimulator is ideal for you. Or you might decide to opt for something small like a bullet vibrator that you or your partner can use to stimulate your perineum during sex.
High-end sex toys can be expensive, but they may be worth it for you if you are looking for the additional features such as dual motors, thrusting or “come hither” motions, or app functionality. On the other hand, if you are on a budget, a good quality basic vibrator may serve you just as well and does not need to be expensive.
What’s next in perineum sex toys?
The world of sex tech is constantly evolving and there are sure to be new developments in perineum pleasure tech in the next few years. In particular, I would like to see more perineum-focused toys that do not assume the user has a penis or prostate.
I asked my experts what developments they would like to see in this area. Engle suggests “see some sort of glove that has rotating balls inside of it. This way you’d have an aid to knead and massage this area over a wider surface area.”
Dr Queen says, “It might be cool to see if there are ways for AFAB (assigned female at birth) users to have toys that more obviously allow for perineum-plus clit or vaginal stimulation.”
Busting the stigma around exploring perineum pleasure
“Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of stigma when it comes to stimulation for cis men (specifically cis-hetero men) beyond penis stimulation,” says Finn.
In particular, exploring perineum pleasure can feel taboo for many people due to its perceived connection to anal sex. “A lot of cis men falsely feel like ass play might make them gay or bisexual,” Dr Carlton explains. Engle agrees: “We basically think that anything close to anal sensation makes you “gay.” Which is, of course, totally untrue,” she says.
Of course, being gay or bisexual or both wonderful things! However, they are all about who you are attracted to, not the physical sex acts that you do or don’t enjoy. Sadly, societal and internalised homophobia still means that many straight men are afraid of their sexuality being called into question and may shy away from some certain kinds of pleasure as a result.
Dr Queen agrees. “For cis [straight] men, fear of anal or the anus is too often an expression of homophobia, and not even a correctly-thought-out one at that,” she says.
“Homophobia restricts everyone’s sexual comfort and knowledge—maybe especially that of heterosexuals!”
However, perineum pleasure is for everyone and if you are curious, you should feel empowered to try it out–alone, with your partner(s), or both.
Engle says, “I think more education and greater encouragement for men is still needed and we should all work to unpack the stigma and help to promote pleasure for everyone, regardless of where that pleasure might be coming from.”
Dr Carlton adds, “I think reassurance that it is part of your “normal” sexuality is essential.” After all, he says, “Why miss out on this rocket ship ride to outer space!?”
Go forth to explore, embrace, and enjoy perineum pleasure
The perineum is a powerful yet often overlooked erogenous zone, offering diverse opportunities for pleasure regardless of gender or anatomy. Exploring this sensitive area can enhance intimacy, expand your understanding of your body, and provide entirely new sensations.
Whether through gentle massage, experimenting with toys, or incorporating stimulation into partnered activities, the key is to approach perineum pleasure with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to discover what feels good for you.
Breaking down stigmas and embracing new ways to experience pleasure can lead to deeper self-connection and more fulfilling sexual experiences. So, why not give it a try?
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