Apple confirms what everyone already knew: Siri won't talk dirty to you.

Craig Federighi took to a podcast this week to announce, with the gravity of someone revealing a state secret, that Apple's AI-powered Siri will not play romantic partner or field explicit requests. Given that Apple has spent the better part of two decades sanitizing its ecosystem of anything remotely sexual, this ranks somewhere between "dog bites man" and "water remains wet" on the newsworthiness scale. The real story isn't the policy. It's that Apple still feels the need to perform its prudishness out loud.