MysteryVibe Legato review: Great concept, disappointing experience

I’ve been working in the sex toy space for a long time. What this means is that I’ve seen every copycat, slight reinvention of the wheel, and thousandth version of a very standard product under the sun.

While there are a few external vulva-stimulating toys out there, such as the $135 U Self Love simulator and the $97 Lalalena, it’s pretty rare for a toy to make me think “huh, that’s new!” And yet, the MysteryVibe Legato elicited exactly that reaction.

The $279 Legato site alongside MysteryVibe’s other body-adaptable products, including the Crescendo, Tenuto, and Poco.

Design & technology

The MysteryVibe Legato is a vibrator for external stimulation of a vulva, but it has two exciting and unique selling points. The first is that it is designed to target not just the clitoris, but the surrounding labia as well.

People often forget about the labias’ potential as erogenous zones, but they are packed with nerve endings and when you are aroused, they swell and become even more sensitive. With four separate motors, the Legato is designed to help you explore labial, as well as clitoral, pleasure.

Secondly, the Legato is bendable. Each side of the toy’s body has a hinge, meaning you can spread it out or push it in to match the shape of your body. Once you’ve shaped it, it will stay that way until you reshape it. Since all vulvas come in different shapes and sizes, I cannot express enough what a game changer this bendable design is.

The Legato is USB rechargeable with an included cable, water-resistant, and made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of purple. It has manual controls on the toy, or can be used with the MysteryVibe app.

A note on the marketing

I genuinely really like this product so far. What I do not like so much, though, is the way that it’s being marketed.

Firstly, there’s this comparison table:

First, it claims that neither “generic vibrators” nor clinical sexual wellness devices are customizable. And sure, they’re rarely bendable or reshapeable like this one, but ‘adaptable vibrations’ (which I assume just means “different speeds and vibration patterns”) is an absolute basic minimum standard.

In addition, it’s a bold claim that generic vibrators are not waterproof. A huge number of them are these days, including many basic and entry-level toys.

Finally, the idea that a generic vibrator or medical sexual wellness device can’t be used either solo or by a couple is laughable. Literally any sex toy in existence can be a toy for couples.

Putting down other products—incorrectly—in order to sell yours isn’t a good look to people who see the context of some of those claims.

Next, let’s talk about the gendering and cis-heteronormativity of this product’s marketing. I know I’m fighting a losing battle when I beg people to stop saying “toys for women” when you mean “toys for people with a vulva,” but I will keep saying it anyway. Especially when you’re talking about an established brand in the sex tech space; it’s quite disappointing to see.

More importantly, though, this product’s marketing is excessively preoccupied with penetrative, penis-in-vagina sex and facilitating people in having it… which they may or may not want to do.

P-in-V intercourse isn’t the be-all, end-all of sex and I really wish companies would stop acting like it is.

The phrase “designed for her with him in mind” made me do a full-body shudder.

Why is something ostensibly designed for (cis) female pleasure immediately centring (cis) men? The fact that some penises may be able to fit through the hole in the Legato if people want to use it during penetrative sex is a cool selling point. However, this phrasing really makes it feel as though women’s pleasure is just a necessity to reach the goal that really matters: men’s pleasure.

Finally, why are you assuming there’s a “him” in my bed at all? Gay people exist!

I really want to like this product, but the marketing makes me feel so gross and alienated.

I suppose I’d better try actually using it, hadn’t I?

How it feels in use

Now we reach my biggest complaint with the MysteryVibe Legato, because after being so impressed with the design, everything went downhill when I switched it on.

This toy is so, so buzzy. I was really hoping MysteryVibe would have improved since the early days of its “Crescendo” product, which showed so much promise in its design but had one of the worst motors I’ve ever encountered in a high-end toy. However, it appears not. The Legato doesn’t deliver any of the strong, rumbly vibrations that make a toy worthwhile to me. Instead it’s all surface-level buzz.

Far from stimulating my entire vulva, it left the whole area feeling numb long before I was even close to getting off.

It is frankly ridiculous that a sex toy costing close to $300 can’t give me an orgasm. All the cool features and fancy tech in the world are useless when the product fails at this central, basic task.

App & user interface

The MysteryVibe Legato has a simple four-button manual interface, allowing you to scroll through the various vibration patterns as well as turn the intensity up or down. The buttons are easy to press and the controls are intuitive, but the toy is weirdly difficult to switch off! I had to hold the button down for over five seconds to switch it off, not the two seconds indicated in the instructions.

Next up was the MysteryVibe app, which is free in the Android or iOS app store. I didn’t need to create an account or anything, which gave me a little pause about the app’s security measures. However, the toy connected easily and the responsiveness was generally fast.

The connection was a little spotty though, even with the toy at close range, and dropped off a few times during testing.

The MysteryVibe app also isn’t as fully-featured as many of its competitors. You can move between pre-set patterns, download others from the “store”, and create your own. You can also hand over control to a partner via their phone.

That’s about it, though. There is no chat function, ability to connect to interactive content, sound responsiveness, or any of the other features that many toys now offer.

The verdict

Such cool tech, such terrible motors! I really wanted to love the Legato, and I am glad that a product to stimulate the entire vulva exists.

The problem is that it’s a generally bad product, including a frustrating marketing strategy that feels stuck in the early 2000s, underwhelming user experience, and wildly overpriced for what it is.