Let’s not sugarcoat it: long-distance relationships are challenging. Although communication has evolved since the days of snail mail, and we can maintain emotional intimacy through messages and phone calls, staying physically connected is really hard — and not in the fun way!
My first long-distance relationship suffered due to a lack of intimate technology, but my last long-distance partnership thrived thanks to a few toys and apps that kept our fires lit while living an ocean apart.
The available tech is evolving rapidly from app-controlled toys to VR experiences and haptic feedback devices that use tactile sensations to communicate with the user. We were overwhelmed by choice!
We drove each other to orgasm with app-controlled toys, dove into immersive VR to share vibrant sexual encounters, and used apps like ‘Obedience’, to play with our kinkiest fantasies.
Sex tech is also redefining connection in long-distance relationships, enabling couples who have never met to enjoy a thriving sex life. It empowers couples to maintain a sense of closeness, build trust, and bridge the emotional gaps that distance can create.
So, here’s our roundup of the best toys on the market to help your long-distance love maintain its climax from afar.
Sex toys to use together while apart
Getting PhysicalApp-controlled sex toys have dominated the market in recent years, enabling couples to play whether they’re in the next room or across the globe.
While price, quality, and connectivity vary, there’s something for everyone’s taste. Here are my top picks:
Lovense Lush
- Intense G-spot stimulation with internal bulb and external vibrating tail
- Partner control via Lovense app; customizable vibration patterns
- Discreet (43 dB noise)
- Fast charging
$119
As someone who loves intense G-spot stimulation, I had my eye on this toy for a while. The bulb-shaped vibrator fits snuggly inside the vagina with a thin vibrating tail that stimulates the clitoris.
The Lovense app enables you to pass control over to a partner for them to edge you or bring you to climax, all with the touch of a button. Choose from pre-set vibrations, or your partner can design a session that fits your preferences.
With just 43 decibels of noise, it’s also perfect for discreet walkabout play.
There are several generations of the Lovense Lush, with the fourth being the most current at the time of writing. This latest generation has up to 7,000 vibrations per minute, and can be used for up to an hour from just five minutes of charging.
We-Vibe Vector+
- Prostate and perineum stimulation with adjustable external arm
- Controlled remotely via We-Vibe app; ideal for long-distance intimacy
- Flexible design for personalized positioning; priced around $139
$139
This sleek number fits against your prostate and has a vibrating edge that will leave your perineum tingling with pleasure. The external arm is flexible, so you can position it toward your body for maximum intensity or pull it away to stave off the explosion.
Connect to the WeVibe app to hand control over to your partner. Buy two as a set to keep both of you salivating for more while you’re living apart. Currently priced at $139.
We-Vibe Date Night Set
- Combination set: vibrating cock ring and G-spot vibrator
- Designed for simultaneous remote use during phone/video calls
- Customizable; often discounted to ~$159 from $278.99 MSRP
$159
This combination will blow your socks off. Keep one each for long-distance fun; a vibrating cock ring for the penis and a g-spot stimulator for the vagina.
The date night set is the perfect combination for keeping both partners on their toes during a phone or video call. I love setting up a date night from afar with these toys and exchanging control to drive each other wild.
If this set is too heterosexual for you, make up your own set by choosing two vibes from the collection that fit your needs – perfect. It often retails for around $159 when on sale, and has a stated RRP/MSRP of $278.99 at full price.
Lovense Ferri Magnetic Panty Vibrator
- Wearable, discreet, magnetic panty vibrator ideal for public play
- Remote partner control via Lovense app
- Affordable (~$99); preferred for discretion and portability
$99
There are tons of vibrating clit toys on the market, ready to tease you to orgasm at home or out on the town, but this is my personal favourite.
It’s discreet, perfect for public play, and your partner can control every buzz from the app at any distance. Currently priced at $99.
Satisfyer Epic Duo Connect
- Dual cock and ball ring with clitoral stimulation
- App-controlled for remote edging and stamina training
- Made from medical-grade silicone; affordably priced at $49.99
$49.99
Train your partner’s stamina with this multi-purpose toy. While you can use it together in person – it has clitoral stimulation on the outside – it’s perfect for edging a partner with a penis long distance.
Connect to the app to play with the cock and ball ring made from medical silicone and train them to perfection for your next in-person liaison. Currently priced at $49.99.
Cowgirl Premium Remote Riding Sex Machine
- Premium ride-on sex machine offering remote control worldwide
- Expensive (nearly $1,800) but provides immersive, realistic experience
- Ideal for high-budget users seeking intense remote experiences
$49.99
If you want to go all out, invest in this one. It is over my budget at nearly $1,800 but if you’ve got the cash to splash, it’s the ultimate in remote control ride-on toys that work both locally or anywhere in the world.
You can ride all night with your partner controlling every vibration and motion as if they were in the room with you.
Apps to try when in long-distance relationships
Toys aren’t the only tech empowering long-distance couples to tap into their sexual potential. Turn to apps and other tech to maximise your mutual pleasure.
Obedience App
The Obedience app is ideal for kinksters. The dominant can list rewards and punishments for one or more submissives to engage with; submissives can also engage with as many dominants as they like, so it’s ideal for non-monogamous people.
You can also send pictures and messages through the app. It’s available for Android and iOS devices.
Pillow Talk App
On the soppier side, try PillowTalk to hear each other’s heartbeats when the longing hits hardest.
You each get a little wristband to wear to bed with a small speaker that fits under a pillow, and the wristband transmits your heartbeat to the other person’s speaker. It’s worth noting that this product has been showing as ‘out of stock’ for a long time now, so it’s possible that no more are being made.
If you do get hold of the wristbands, the app still appears to only be available for Android devices, and only directly from the company’s website, not the Play Store. Careful you don’t get it confused with the many other products and apps called PillowTalk that all serve different purposes.
FeelHey
These revolutionary Hey Bracelets enable you to stay intimate while apart. You can nudge each other whenever the heart pangs get too intense.
It sounds very mechanical, but the reviews and the inventors promise the squeeze mimics a human touch.
However, just like the Pillow Talk bracelets above, they’ve been out of stock for a really long time, so you might just have missed out on this one.
iPassion App
Download iPassion to keep things spicy from afar. Play quizzes about each other’s sexual likes and dislikes, and sext in-app whenever something sparks an idea.
Tailor the app to your personality by setting up favours that the player with the highest points can cash in, like a sensual massage or a lingerie shopping.
Paired App
Build your bond with Paired, which teaches couples how to communicate better, manage conflict, and connect on a deeper emotional level.
Couples can go on personalised journeys that develop the skills your relationship needs by diving into everything from household finances to love languages, and its one of the few apps in this genre that has extensive documentation and research around it.
Immerse yourself in quizzes that challenge and inspire, and keep track of important milestones by inputting anniversaries, birthdays, and even your favourite date nights. It’s only available for Apple devices though.
Dreamdays Countdown App
Lean into the anticipation of your reunion by downloading the Dreamdays Countdown app and remind yourself of anniversaries with cute widgets on your home screen.
Time zone-crossed lovers should try the Long Distance Classic watch from Kitmen Keun, which displays multiple time zones. I prefer having my partner’s time zone on my home screen alongside my own, but this is a cute way to level up your affection.
It’s free to download and use, though there are a couple of optional subscriptions available if you want to enable ‘beautiful backgrounds’ ($0.99c) or remove ads ($1.99).
Stepping into the future of LDR tech
Our world is moving too fast for most of us to comprehend anymore, but let’s embrace the fact that the rapid evolution of sex tech helps keep long-distance couples lusting together.
Tap into virtual reality porn for some erotically charged connections – you can even dual watch to masturbate simultaneously or play with your app-controlled toys. Some phones can access this 3D world remotely if you’ve invested in a headset.
Some headsets cater specifically for VR porn, like the Vrotica, which makes accessing your favorite videos an ‘all-in-one’ experience. Generally though, a regular VR headset provides better value, as you can do way more things with them.
Whatever kind of porn you like, there’s something out there to bring you and your partner together, whether it’s in the same house or thousands of miles away.
Sharing fantasies through porn is an electrifying way to connect and build up to your next in-person play session. Take it to the next level with a long-distance play date where you make a playlist of your favourite scenes and settle in to watch them together on video call to build the ultimate shared crescendo.
Drive your partner wild with the app-controlled device Keon by Kiiroo Interactive Male Masturbator Combo Set, or if you’re playing solo you can sync your toy with videos. Ideally though, if you and your partner have compatible toys, you can connect them for two-way sync.
The price of the bundle can vary a little, but at the time of writing it costs $269.99.
Digital anticipation or physical intimacy?
Of course, none of these options will feel as good as real-life touch and climax, but they’re the next best thing.
Technology has worked magic to connect people worldwide, so take advantage of every tool and toy to maximise your pleasure while apart.
Then, once you’re together again, keep building on that intimacy and play out all the fantasies that built up the lustful anticipation during your time apart.
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