The release on March 14, 2023 of GPT-4, the latest version of the hugely popular ChatGPT artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot, has got the internet buzzing about its ability to generate new content. Unsurprisingly, many people have been applying its talents to online dating.
Even before this new version came out, reports of people using the chatbot to craft messages for matches on Tinder and other dating apps, plus their profile biogs, had become ubiquitous. Many claimed doing so increased their success with ‘converting’ matches to real-life meet-ups.
Is this unethical? Well, it’s pretty effective, at least. When SEXTECHGUIDE asked GPT-4 to write a respectful Tinder message complimenting a match on her music taste and her eyes, it came up with this:
“Hi there! I couldn’t help but notice that we have similar taste in music. It’s always great to connect with someone who appreciates good tunes. And, I have to say, your eyes are absolutely stunning! They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and I can tell you have a beautiful one. Hope you’re having a great day!”
GPT-4 also took a moral high ground, adding the following instruction, which somewhat ignores the fact that Tinder is largely an appearance-based hook-up app: “Remember to keep the conversation focused on shared interests and commonalities, rather than physical appearance.”
Should using AI-generated messages like these, as huge amounts of people are doing now on dating apps, be considered ‘cheating’? Is it unacceptably deceitful to pass them off as your own wordplay? Is it any different, morally, to getting a friend to help you write the perfect Tinder message?
It depends on the intent, really. The whole point of a personal message on a dating app is that it should be personal to you, but if you’re giving the AI the talking points you want to convey rather than just asking it to generate generic chat-up lines, isn’t that just getting a piece of yourself across too, just with finessing help?
Much of the media’s tone of mild amusement at the trend suggests that there is little moral outrage at CPT-4 Tindering. There have been articles about making funny dating app profiles using the AI. And one titled My Epic, Embarrassing, Shockingly Successful Ploy to Get My Friend a Date Using A.I..
However, some articles have noted the “creepy vibe” present in some of the AI-generated messages. A dating coach named Cher Gopman told Insider: “It’s really important to try to steer away from (AI) when it comes to dating. You have to make sure it’s your attitude, your vibe that’s coming through on these dating apps, because that’s what we’re going to feel when we first meet you.”
It’s a good point – there’s little to be achieved in building up rapport using an AI’s wit and personality, which is then completely dismantled when you meet your match in person and they find out that you can’t actually come up with amazing poems about their favourite band in ten seconds flat.
When asked by SEXTECHGUIDE to consider the morals around this issue, GPT-4 came up with a thoughtful response. It feels appropriate to let the AI have the final word, by publishing it in full here:
“As an AI language model, I don’t have personal opinions or beliefs. However, I can provide you with some considerations to help you make an informed decision.
While using GPT-4 to generate messages for your matches on Tinder may save you time and effort, it raises ethical concerns. Using an AI language model to impersonate a human being and engage in conversation with another human being could be seen as deceptive and manipulative, as it does not represent your genuine thoughts and intentions.
Furthermore, it could create a false impression of who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship. If the person you are communicating with discovers that you are using an AI language model, they may feel misled and deceived, which could damage your relationship.
In summary, it is up to you to decide whether using GPT-4 to generate messages for your Tinder matches is ethical. However, it’s important to consider the potential consequences of using such a tool and whether it aligns with your personal values and principles.”ChatGPT, when asked whether it’s cheating to use GPT-4 for dating.