Lovehoney Desire App-Controlled Love Egg review: Easy connectivity, slightly fiddly reality

App-controlled sex toys are big business right now. What used to be somewhat fringe products in the sex toy world, used mainly by cam models and couples in long-distance relationships, are becoming more and more mainstream. And that has never been more true than right now.

Desire is Lovehoney’s own-brand line of luxury sex toys, and the $124.99 Love Egg is the third fully app-controlled product in the range, along with the Knicker Vibe and Prostate Massager.

At the time of writing, a global health pandemic means most of us are staying in our homes, people who don’t live with their partners are seeking new and innovative ways to connect sexually. This means that sales of remote, long-distance and app-controlled sex toys are booming, but how does the Lovehoney Desire App-Controlled Love Egg measure up?

Lovehoney Desire App-Controlled Love Egg: Quick Summary

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Lovehoney Desire App-Controlled Love Egg: Full Review

What’s in the box?

All Desire toys come stylishly packaged in the purple and black colours that identify the range. In the box you’ll find the toy, its charging cable, a little instruction booklet, and a black faux-leather zip-up storage case.

The Desire Love Egg is 6-inches long, of which 3-inches is the insertable part and the remaining 3-inches is the tail. The shape is arguably somewhat sperm-like, and the toy is very light. The insertable egg part is firm to the touch, while the tail is thin and flimsy.

The Love Egg is coated in soft purple matte silicone, which is phthalate-free and completely body-safe, as you’d expect from a brand like Lovehoney. It attracts dust and lint like crazy though, so give it a quick wipe down before each time you use it.

Water-based lube is recommended for silicone toys, and is particularly important for toys that are designed to sit inside the body for a period of time.

To clean your toy, use warm soapy water or a body-safe sterile wipe. A full sterilization can be achieved with a 10% bleach solution – just pop the toy in for 10 minutes or so, then rinse and dry thoroughly.

The Lovehoney Love Egg is fully waterproof and USB rechargeable. In order to charge it, you need to unscrew the tail section, and you’ll find the charging port hidden under the tail at the base of the egg.

A full charge of around two hours will give you around 60 minutes of playtime.

Lovehoney Desire Love Egg: Power, Pattern and Interface

Anyone that has read the site for amount of time will know that I am pretty hard to please when it comes to power. The vast majority of toys simply don’t cut it, intensity-wise. I used to believe this was due to the higher price-point of stronger motors, but having found an incredibly powerful and rumbly bullet vibrator that costs just $32, I’m not inclined to believe that any more.

Of course, some people like gentler vibrations, but the most consistent complaint I hear about all different kinds of vibrators is “it simply wasn’t powerful enough.”

With that in mind, I found the vibrations of the Desire Love Egg just… okay. They tend towards the buzzy, and even at the highest levels can only be described as middling-powerful. This can be forgiven to a certain extent, if we keep in mind that the purpose of ‘love egg’ toys is typically to wear around the house, or out in public to tease and arouse the wearer, rather than necessarily to bring about quick orgasms. For that purpose you might really enjoy it, but if you’re looking for serious power, this isn’t it.

The Desire Love Egg has eight different settings – constant vibrations and seven patterns – and 12 different levels of intensity. This does make the experience highly customizable, though using the toy with the app is pretty much essential – more on that in a minute.

The toy has a single button at the base of the egg, which you use to cycle through the eight settings. This only changes the settings one way, so if you skip the one you like, you can’t get back to it without cycling all the way through the rest of the settings. You also can’t change the speed on the toy itself – this can only be done through the app, and will put some people off.

Due to the placement of the button, it’s incredibly difficult and awkward to use it to change the setting when the toy is inserted. For this reason, the Lovehoney App-Controlled Love Egg can only be recommended for people who are happy to rely on an app to control their toy.

Lovehoney Love Egg: App Functionality

As already mentioned, the Desire Love Egg can be controlled (indeed, is best controlled) via the Lovehoney Desire app, which is available for both iOS and Android phones. If you have an older handset, it’s worth knowing that you’ll need Android 5.1 or newer/iOS 12, and Bluetooth 4.2. Annoyingly, the Desire app is not compatible with Android 10 yet, but we’re sure it will be, given the popularity of the mobile OS.

Setting up an account within the app, if you don’t already have one, takes a couple of minutes, and will need you to verify your email address. To keep things nice and private, there’s a privacy function that means you can only search for another user by username, not email address.

Once you’re logged in, you need to pick whether you’re going to use your toy solo or with a partner (you can switch between them.) Once you’ve picked one, you have to pair the app to your toy via Bluetooth, which takes 3 – 5 seconds. To do this, you need to press the button on the body of the toy until the little light flashes blue and red, but not long enough for the main vibrate function to start.

The interface for controlling the toy is simple and intuitive; left and right arrow buttons navigate you through the different patterns, and swiping up or down the screen changes the intensity.

In testing the ‘Partner’ mode remotely, pairing their phone with my toy only took seconds once we’d connected with each other on the app.

Once you’ve connected with your partner, the person without the toy needs to request access via the “Control Partner” button, which you then accept or reject. You have to give them permission separately for each session, so there is no risk of your partner randomly turning your toy on at an inopportune moment, which is re-assuring.

The person in control then gets a screen the same as the one you see in ‘Solo’ mode, allowing them to change the setting and intensity of the vibrations from any distance.

The app is supposed to have a chat function which works like any instant messaging system, as well as allowing for voice and video chat. We tried to use this but unfortunately it didn’t work at all. Whenever we tried to message each other, our messages disappeared and all that popped up was [Error].

Trying to send a photo or voice message yielded similar non-results, and tapping the voice call and video call buttons did nothing whatsoever. This problem persisted even after closing the app, logging out and back in, and restarting my phone.

This was very disappointing, particularly as the connecting and control aspects of the app were pleasingly straightforward for once. It doesn’t detract from the main purpose of the app – to allow your lover to control your toy from anywhere – but it does make the whole process more cumbersome as if you want to chat while you play, as you have to use an external system to do that.

The app has so much potential. The interface is intuitive, and it has useful additional features like being able to save your “Favorite” settings for the next time you play. The connectivity issues have also hugely improved since the last time I tested it (as noted in our review of the Desire App-Controlled Knicker Vibe.) Unfortunately, it was really let down by the complete non-functionality of the chat feature.

Lovehoney Desire Egg: Can you really use this toy out in public?

I’m going to go with a reserved “maybe“. (Temporarily setting aside the fact that who knows when we’ll be allowed out in public for non-essential reasons)

Part of the appeal of toys like this is the feeling of having a naughty secret when you use it in public. But is it actually fit for that purpose?

This Love Egg toy is, for something ostensibly designed for using out and about, pretty loud. When inserted and in ordinary outdoor clothes, I can still hear it buzzing away pretty clearly. This means it will very likely be audible to other people in a place with low or mid-level ambient noise.

Using it in a crowded nightclub or at a rock concert? Probably fine. On a walk in a remote place or where others aren’t anywhere near you? Go for it. A coffee shop, restaurant or the supermarket? I wouldn’t. There’s a possibility it might be mistaken for a mobile phone buzzing, but if that happens more than a time or two people are likely to catch on, and this risks including non-consenting members of the public in your sex play without their permission – which isn’t okay.

Final thoughts

The main reasons people buy this type of remote-controlled toy are to use out in public, or to use with a partner when you’re not physically together.

I really don’t think it’s a good idea to use this toy for the former, except in the specific circumstances already outlined above. (Of course, it might be perfect right now if you want to make your Government Sanctioned Daily Lockdown Walk a little more exciting.) Still, personally, I do like a bit more power generally.

For the remote lovers, though, it’s functional and promising. The app’s chat function badly needs fixing, but if you’re happy to use the remote controls via the Desire app and communicate on a different platform, it works well.

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