Amy Norton
There are so many advantages to adding sex tech to your life: it can bring you more pleasure, enable you to stay connected with a partner over any distance, and offer you more opportunities to explore new ways of enjoying sex.
Sex tech also offers numerous ways for couples to explore, play, and have fun together in and outside of the bedroom.
Most of us could use a little more play in our lives, and a sexual relationship with a trusted partner is a wonderful space to get playful and try new things in a safe way. With your favorite sex tech toys and a little creativity, there are all kinds of games you can play together.
As with anything sex-related, it’s important to get consent and negotiate fully before trying any sex tech game. Agree on your boundaries and limits, establish a safe-word, and check in regularly to make sure you’re both okay and having fun. If anyone feels uncomfortable or things don’t feel right, stop and have a conversation. You can always carry on afterwards if you both want to continue.
Most importantly, enjoy yourselves, and here are a few ideas to get you started.
Make Them Beg
The edge-tastic game that keeps them coming back for moreThere are now numerous sex toys that can be controlled from anywhere in the world from an app on your phone with the aid of Bluetooth and an internet connection. Toys from brands such as We-Vibe, Kiiroo, and Lovense allow you to hand control over to your partner for the duration of a session. Many of these apps include inbuilt text, voice, or video chat functionality so that you can have a truly immersive play session.
The rules of this game are simple: use your partner’s toy to tease them until they are on the edge of orgasm, and then switch it off or turn the power down so that they can’t quite get there. Repeat as many times as you like. Can you make them beg for release by the end of the session? And will you be kind and let them come, or make them wait until the next time you play?
This one can be particularly fun during temporary separation, for example, due to work travel or family obligations. Why not edge one another and wait until you’re together again in person to enjoy those long-awaited orgasms?
Name That Tune
Carpool karaoke eat-ya heart (or something else) outMany high-tech sex toys now include the ability to vibe along in time with music. These sound-responsive vibrators open up the possibility of a very adult game of ‘Name That Tune’.
Have your partner wear earplugs or a headset to block them from hearing, set up the sound-responsive functionality, and play music (or sing, hum, or even beatbox if you have the skills) into the microphone. Ask your partner to guess the song from the sensations. Perhaps they get rewarded if they guess correctly, or have to perform a forfeit if they get it wrong?
To make things easier, agree on a limited playlist (for example, you could choose one genre or one artist.) Want to give them a bigger challenge? Put your entire music library on shuffle and see what comes up. Music with a strong beat tends to work best for this game.
Sexy Storytime
Stories that won’t send you to sleepAudio porn (or audio erotica) is having a moment in a big way. It’s a great alternative to visual porn or written erotica and can provide a fun and immersive experience for anyone who loves a sexy story. It’s also great to incorporate into a sex tech game with your partner.
Choose a story and listen to it together, either in the same location or by syncing up and hitting “play” at the same time when you’re apart. If you have remote control sex toys, use them to tease and pleasure one another while you listen. To take things to the next level, time your activity with what’s happening in the story–start out slowly, then ramp up the stimulation when things get hotter and heavier between the characters.
Some providers now even offer audio erotica that can sync with your sex toys automatically. Remotyca, for example, is an audio porn platform by Berlinable that can work with Satisfyer sex toys.
Another twist on this game, if you’re creative, is to write stories for one other. Make them as sweet or as spicy as you like, and then read them aloud in person or over the phone while controlling one another’s sex toys.
Don’t React
Would you risk it for a pleasurable biscuit?One of the joys of sex tech is that you can use it out in the world without anyone but you and your partner being any the wiser. In this game, one of you wears a discreet remote-controlled sex toy (we love the Lovense Lush or Ferri for this) and the other takes control via their phone.
You can set rules if you like. For example, perhaps every time your partner says a certain word or whenever you see a blue car, you will turn the vibrations on for a few seconds. Alternatively, you can switch it on at random. The challenge is to see whether the person wearing the toy can keep a straight face while they’re being pleasured.
Remember that other members of the public have not consented to be involved in your sex game. This means that you need to be careful to be discreet about what you are doing. This particularly applies to those who are interacting with you at their places of work, such as waiting or bar staff. Making others uncomfortable isn’t cool!
‘Wheel of Foreplay’
Rules here are a little different from the wheel of fortuneCreated by Bryony Cole of the Future of Sex podcast and venture studio Josephmark, operating together as The Future of Sex Lab, “Wheel of Foreplay” was created to allow couples to stay connected, have fun, and keep their sex lives hot during the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s so fun and well-designed, though, that its popularity has endured and increased.
Simply choose a set of cards–there’s “Going the Distance” for when you’re apart, “Push It Real Good” to help you expand your limits, “Cosmic Connections” to help you connect more deeply, and more–and dive in.
Spin the wheel, read out the task on the card, and then complete it. You can always make things more interesting by adding your own rules into the mix, too.
Have a Virtual Threesome
Are you ready for your menage à trois?Did you know that threesomes are amongst the most common–if not the most common–sexual fantasy for people of all genders? So if you and your partner have ever thought about bringing a lucky third party into your bedroom, you’re far from alone.
Deciding to have a threesome is a big deal. There’s the potential for jealousy and insecurities to contend with, three people’s boundaries and preferences to juggle, and the ways in which it might change your relationship to consider. Then there’s the issue of actually finding a third person to participate, which isn’t always as easy as porn would have you believe.
But how about dipping a toe into this fantasy in the virtual world? Virtual reality (VR) porn is big business in 2023 and is becoming more and more sophisticated and readily available all the time. It allows you to engage with your favorite content in a more interactive way and enjoy an immersive viewing experience.
Here’s how to have a virtual threesome. Choose a VR porn scene and decide which of you is going to wear the headset and enter the virtual environment. This person can then “interact” with the performer in the VR content. Meanwhile, in the real world, their partner can also touch and stimulate them. You can then switch things up and swap places for round 2 if you like.
Truth or Dare
We dare you to try this adult version on for size!This slumber party staple isn’t just for teenagers. In fact, it’s far more fun to play as an adult with your partner!
Desire is a highly acclaimed app for couples of any gender that was founded in 2015. It’s free to download on your Apple or Android device, but you can join at the Platinum level ($10.49 per month for one person or $15.49 per month for both partners at the time of writing) to unlock additional dares and challenges. You can also purchase in-app “coins” ($4.99 for 115 coins) to spend on additional content.
Desire is a great way to play an ongoing game of sexy Truth or Dare with your partner. You’ll learn more about each other, inject a little more sexiness into your everyday lives, and build up some shared sexual energy that you can bring back to your bedroom.
Who Can Last Longest?
You first, no you first, no you first!This game has one goal: make your partner orgasm before you do. This game works best when you both have an app-controlled toy and can be played either long-distance or in person.
Start by getting yourselves turned on with some dirty talk or sexting. Then, when you’re both hot and bothered, start controlling each other’s toys. The rules are simple, but this game is harder than you think!
Can you focus on pleasuring your partner when you’re also being stimulated? Can you hold back your climax when your partner knows exactly which buttons to push to get you there?
Perhaps whoever orgasms first has to complete a penalty or perform a task (you should agree upon what this will be before you start playing).
