When is a sex toy not a sex toy? When it’s a safe, of course

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Autoblow Decoy Safe

While we hadn’t exactly been waiting on, and not the least expecting, the latest news out of Autoblow HQ, it’s not every day that a company best known for making sex toys that focus on providing an oral-like experience for people with a penis makes a home security safe instead.

Clearly, there’s a large part of the Autoblow Decoy Safe that’s a marketing stunt aimed at promoting the company’s actual Autoblow AI blowjob machine. Nonetheless, it’s hard to argue that a home burglar, or someone looking to steal valuables out of your luggage while you travel, will take apart what they can only assume to be a used sex toy.

“With Youtube now full of safe cracking instructional videos that show burglars how to enter most popular models of home safes, they are an increasingly less secure place for valuables. The Autoblow Decoy Safe, the world’s first sex toy safe, will provide homeowners additional piece of mind when leaving home at a cost of only $39,” the company says.

Autoblow says that pre-orders placed now will be fulfilled in “Winter 2021”, but we’re not sure if that means it’ll arrive as a ‘funny’ gift for friends at Christmas or not. We’ve asked the company and will update when we find out.

Either way, it’s not going to be all that much use unless all your valuables happen to be really quite small. Everyone loves cash though, especially burglars, and security through obscurity is better than no security at all.

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